Taking these actions helps us to separate ourselves from the disease of addiction. We come to understand that we are good people with a bad disease. Steps 8 and 9 help us to move out of the shame we have lived in, shame that feeds the cycle of substance use and addiction. We strengthen and reinforce healthy recovery whenever we do our part to repair relationships or reach out to others with support and understanding.
Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)
The focus is not on religious practices but on universal spiritual principles like honesty, accountability, and selflessness, empowering those in recovery to rebuild their lives. The Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous were introduced in the 1939 Big Book as a spiritual program designed to help those struggling with substance abuse find freedom and healing. The twelve step model has since transformed millions of lives, guiding people through personal recovery by emphasizing spiritual awakening, self-examination, and helping others. When followed as written in the Big Book and worked with a sponsor, the Twelve Steps have proven to be a powerful path to lasting sobriety and emotional healing. On a similar note, the sixth and seventh steps give recovering alcoholics newfound humility in order to prevent blame, anger, or self-righteousness during their recovery.
Step 1 – What it Means to Admit Powerlessness
This step encourages ongoing self-reflection, ensuring that you stay aware of your thoughts and actions. Focusing on actions rather than relying solely on apologies enhances personal and relational growth. Engaging in self-reflection and understanding past mistakes fortifies this process. Ultimately, the goal of making amends lies in genuine attempts at healing, where your actions can deeply resonate, fostering reconciliation and mutual respect. By following through on your promises, you demonstrate accountability and foster trust in the relationship.
Focus on your behavior.
- “Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others”; the 9th step of the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA).
- For example, if you once stole from a coworker, you could apologize and offer repayment.
- The main goals of AA membership are to stay sober and help other alcoholics achieve sobriety.
Showing responsibility through actions can validate the feelings of those hurt and help rebuild trust. At Recovered On Purpose, one of the ways we help others find freedom from addiction is by providing support and guidance for those on their 12 Step journey. Throughout this page, you’ll find helpful resources and additional content designed to deepen your understanding of the Twelve Steps and support your personal recovery. Explore the tools shared here to take meaningful steps toward lasting sobriety and spiritual awakening. In many 12-step recovery programs, making amends is an important part of the process. For example, Alcoholic Anonymous (AA)’s ninth step involves making amends to the individuals in your life who were affected by your addiction.
- Going by this take, you can think of living amends as a replacement for direct amends in step nine.
- It’s possible that the other person is unaware of the harm you have caused them, and making direct amends would make them aware and hurt them badly.
- They have been hurt by your actions, and they may not be willing to forgive and forget.
- At Augustine Recovery, we understand how addiction affects the family unit.
If your actions match living amends your intentions and you reach out in person, you are doing the next right thing to right past wrongs. And remember, if you are feeling ashamed about mistakes made and damage done during your using days, you are not your disease. For many, it’s tempting to make amends as soon as possible to “get it out of the way,” but it’s advisable that you take your time to prepare yourself first. Step Nine can leave you emotionally exhausted; it’s a difficult step to navigate.
It is important to think through the ways your letter might affect the recipient, according. Be willing to accept that person’s reactions, even if they are negative. Instead, simply recount your poor behaviors and express genuine regret. The AA promises are a set of spiritual and emotional transformations that occur as a result of doing amends in Step 9 of the 12 Steps.
The focus should be solely on your own actions and their consequences. Phrases like „I’m sorry for how I spoke to you” must not include excuses or justifications. Avoiding defensive language helps ensure that your apology is received sincerely. This not drug addiction treatment only acknowledges the pain inflicted but also conveys your sincerity in wanting to make things right. It’s essential that your apology aligns with a commitment to change your behavior moving forward.
It also asks you to reflect on where you are in the present and your day-to-day life. Indirect amends are necessary when contacting the person you wronged is impossible or would cause harm. In some cases, writing a letter or sending an email is appropriate. They require you to take personal responsibility for your actions and reconcile with the person you’ve wronged. Once you’ve completed steps 1 through 8 in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), it’s time to move on to step 9. Step 9 is the culmination of all the steps prior, which have helped you to take responsibility for your actions and admit your character flaws.
- To manage anxiety related to making amends, practicing the DEAR MAN technique can be beneficial.
- Instead, we begin to genuinely care about and prioritize the well-being of others.
- It’s also vital that you don’t cause additional harm to the people you’re making amends with.
- As you embark on this challenging yet rewarding path, remember that patience and sincerity are your greatest allies.
- If we had not developed a relationship with a Higher Power, we wouldn’t now have the faith and trust that we definitely need to work Step Nine!
- Begin with a sincere apology, being specific about the wrongs committed instead of making vague statements of guilt.
Is Relapsing a Natural Part of Recovery?
In these instances, the best thing you can do is to focus on your behavior and remain faithful to your commitment to live an honest, sober life. Adam Vibe Gunton is an American author, speaker and thought leader in addiction treatment and recovery. After overcoming homelessness and drug addiction, Adam found his life’s purpose in helping addicts find the same freedom he found. Support systems play a vital role in the process of doing the ninth step.
How Step 9 of AA Fits Into Your Recovery Journey
Those dedicated to their recovery process are assured these step 9 promises, which bring about extraordinary freedom and joy while having a real spiritual experience. There may be times when approaching another person directly or seeking to provide restitution could be painful or harmful for that person. For example, there may be a situation where the person (or people) we’ve harmed are not aware of what we did, and learning about it might possibly harm them even more. Or there could be situations that were complicated by other addicts, or accusations of stealing more than just money.